Yesterday I wrote a warm congratulatory comment on my former Malaysian coworker’s Facebook post on her newborn baby girl. It then struck me that I reacted quite the opposite when a high school friend had her newborn baby boy – I did not show up a few months ago when I was invited to her baby’s Christening. I still see her posting the infant boy’s pics on my Facebook feed and this led me to the realization that the differences in my reactions are based on previous interactions with them.

It seems to me that when old high school friends meet randomly, all I’m ever asked is either if I already have my own offspring or if I just got hitched. The ensuing conversations would often lack intellectual stimulation and I often resort to making up excuses and that I have pressing matters to attend to just to get away from the ennui. My online chats with the former Malaysian coworker, on the other hand, involve other past work related stuff.

With old high school friends I feel like there is a certain mask or a front I need to keep up in order to level with them. It’s a mask of the giddy and naïve schoolgirl, a character which I have long grown out of. No wonder I am not a big fan of their annual high school reunions. I could not take the vibrational energy that goes with it. It’s a mask I could not give up because filling in the gaps about big changes is so tedious to run by them.