Archive for October, 2015


From Doors To Clouds

I’ve had countless intense and vivid dreams as of late that I no longer care to write them down as I awoke from them. Even my initial 20-minute nap breaks during the daytime stretches to an hour at the most and deep sleep hasn’t been rare during this period.

I began to notice various shifts in dream symbolism and intensity the day I started wearing a green orgone healing pendant. Prior to that it’s also worth mentioning that I haven’t taken out 4 crystals under my pillow, namely selenite, chrysoprase, nuumite, and fluorite for quite a while now. I chose those 4 stones because they help calm me down and help me transition to a deep sleep. Perhaps the orgone intensified its power. I’ll keep observing though.

Clouds seem to be making a dominant appearance in my dreams as a symbol for me to wake up to take a leak. The scene would be composed of hovering nimbus clouds portending imminent rain and strangely the sky would be cleared as if by magic. In the past, however, I’d have to go back and forth cubicles with broken doors or locks to no avail. The frustration would then wake me up.

Should I worry that there’s been a shift from doors with broken locks to nimbus clouds? I don’t know. I guess if my dreams have become more direct as opposed to symbolic, I’d have to thank my subconscious for being cooperative and transparent.

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Invisible Scars

There are specific times I would listen to a suggested song right away but on other days I would be quick to dismiss it. Begrudgingly I’ve ignored Johnny Hates Jazz’s Shattered Dreams for too long each time a snippet of it finds its way into my subconscious. Two nights ago, however, I gave in to the strong urge to search for it on Spinnr and listen to it, hoping the last song syndrome I gave myself might go away soon. But here I am still listening to it, and still hoping.

I didn’t live in regret. I’ve read we don’t remember the memories as it happened but rather how we last remembered them. I was enamored with the place, but not as much as the person I associated it with. My eidetic memory may be questionable but not the feelings I once associated each memory with. This is what really makes us humans have a soul experience – the set of emotional triggers and the meaning we put into them. Over time, we may modify our emotional responses to adapt to the demands of the present. And the process goes on and on.

One day you’re feeling positive, only to find out later it was just a byproduct of delusion and ignorance. Striking a balance between the head and the heart is a never-ending theme.

What once was – It never dies. One just learns to live with it.

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