A clean slate. Why do we need a clean slate? Do we ever check ourselves if the clean slate is purely illusory?

Yesterday I’ve deleted two Tumblr pages yesterday and I am aware it was out of hate and shame for myself. One should get over one’s sins of the past, however, not all personal demons immediately go away. Whenever I am beset with these reminders, I crawl back into the old, angry me even though there were more factors than my self that precipitated an unfortunate situation. You’ll never find me being optimistic about letting go. But letting go and make peace I must.

Thinking back to the deletion yesterday I felt like I was screaming at the demons staring back at me, like I hated that part of myself and momentarily engendered a loathing for the whole experience. I don’t hate the lesson. I just hated that naïve part of me from the past.

I deleted the reminder of the past. Unfortunately, what may be erased digitally remains in the soul imprints and the akashic records for that matter. How tragic that we, human incarnates, should endeavor to forget only to want to remember much later.

Reminds me of a television series I watched hours ago, Blindspot. We thought Jane was coming to but in a twist of events she ends up betraying the sole sacrifice she got herself into. She consented to forget, yet she wants to remember. There’s a good reason why we delete just as we are bound to forget. However, in her case a clean slate is hardly the solution.

When I get to remember unpleasant memories, I chalk it up to timing, or more specifically, planetary transits. I know why I’m feeling this way right now towards this or that situation but this is temporary.  But some unpleasant memories bring with them the good ones, too,  so it’s hard to compartmentalise. We just have to learn to live with it.

 

 

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