How do you fix a long-standing feud? How do things work out on their own? The how may probably be irrelevant when we’re getting a special glimpse of the future but haven’t crossed that bridge yet.

I didn’t want to admit I was really happy that ELK showed up again in my dreams after 2 or 3 years. I am holding precious secrets which I have to continually guard or else the noise in the outside world would taunt me that I was losing my mind. I was really happy. There I said it. Since the “fallout” in 2012, my dream 3 days ago was probably the only one with the most interaction between us. It behooves me to mention time may have played a huge factor in this resurgence but it would be unfair to discredit what my clear quartz has contributed.

There were two sets of dreams that I was aware of. I believe if I didn’t decide to wake up sooner I would experience the third loop.

In the first set, I found myself working in a defunct huge factory turned warehouse for different types of old refrigerators and freezers. A company office had been set up there for some time yet I was told the place was not accessible to locals. I conjured a Hogwarts shield in my mind upon hearing the history of the place. I said, “That doesn’t make sense. I get ELK’s letters. How did the postman know this place?”

The next scene I was at what I felt was ELK’s house, “assumed” mainly because he and his mother lived there. I saw my niece using a part of their wall as a drawing board and the kid had no idea she might be vandalizing their property. She drew a little girl and a flower. The sight of this got me nervous. Or more like “the writing on the wall” got me nervous.

I found myself waiting for him to come home after work. We made love twice and that was when I first woke up from the dream feeling an uncontrollable pounding in my chest. That must have been 4:30 am or so. It took me maybe an hour to recover from the shock. I played Cooking Dash on my phone but my mind could not shut up trying to trace back what else I missed in the dream. The Sandman caught up with me again.

In the second dream set, I found myself getting in and out of sleep in what I feel might be ELK’s house again. Strange thing was I also felt some of my family members were there. I pretended to be asleep and out of the corner of my eye I saw ELK inspecting my chair (yes, my own chair in my real-life house) like a carpenter would before he sat on it. I knew he was nearby but neither one of us initiated to chat, not even small talk.

I chatted with another transient in their house. He was a middle-aged man traveling by and was waiting for the next bus in the morning. I pointed outside to an overweight woman and told him she looked familiar. It was his daughter. He said his daughter just recovered from some form of cancer or something.

By the time the bus left, I saw ELK nearby as if he was waiting for his presence to be acknowledged. I didn’t want to be rude and approached him to say thanks for letting me stay in their place for a while. A part of me wanted to say sorry, too, but I ruled it out. That was when we started having an actual conversation. We walked together to find a place to eat. I don’t know which one of us reached out and held the other’s hand first. He asked or spoke about something and I asked him to repeat it because I wasn’t sure what I heard was correct – that he was teasing me and asking me about a guy in my life after that fallout. I also wasn’t sure if he insinuated that I probably still have pictures of the nameless guy lying around. Maybe it was just my own interpretation. I ignored it and diverted the topic to the present because I didn’t want to make a big deal out of a small misunderstanding.

We turned around a cul-de-sac and decided to come back the way we came. But when I turned around, I heard him screaming in pain because he had accidentally stepped on a sharp object. I panicked and asked what I could do. I woke up at this juncture and upon going back to consciousness, the first thing I heard was the chorus to Neocolours’ Hold On and then Christopher Cross’s Swept Away.

I was already awake but barely moving. How could these two songs come at such a time I woke up again from the dream?

Hold on, baby, hold on

We’ve got to go on now

This feeling’s so strong

I honestly didn’t even give much thought to that song before this. How in the world is the feeling (still) so strong when we had shut each other out? The next song, Swept Away, didn’t prepare me for the tears I was going to shed yet again. I don’t know why but much of it were happy tears.

I never had anything happen so fast

I took one look and I shattered like glass

He had these sets of dreams about me few months into knowing each other. It seemed it was always about how he had picked me out of a crowd and how familiar I was even though he hadn’t met me at the time.

No one in the world but you

And I gotta find a way to make you feel the way that I do

Again, the question I put forward above. How can something so fucked up be fixed? I feel like I’m at the other side of the two-way mirror, wishing I could also see what’s on the other unseen side in real-time. I know these dreams about him show the undercurrents but I cannot yet find a way to believe what I know.

It all seems so impossible for now even though I know I might be proven right later. The clear quartz also has been alerting me to images of a bird for like a week now, which I just happened to find out today to be a swan. How angelic, how beautiful all these signs are. But I am crazy until I am proven right.