Sometimes the crystals call my attention to a specific memory in the past. This week they suddenly called my attention to two memories with emphasis on the feelings I experienced when they happened – one was in 2012 and the second in 2010. Over time some details do get blurry but the feelings, however, don’t.

I had been frequenting Starbucks like two or three times in a week as of late because I just felt like it. In one of those visits, I remembered a painful memory back in 2014 or early 2015 I think. I identified the seat where I found out posted pictures of a new girlfriend. It became apparent to me then that I still had feelings for him, yet I also noticed something felt off about the whole relationship. I tried to replace him in my heart by thinking of someone else. Now in 2016, it amazes me how I don’t feel that searing heartache from back in 2014.

Another work week passed and the coffee shop would pop up in my head. I thought it was just the coffee, until two days ago when a long forgotten memory near Starbucks in Sydney CBD was dredged up. I remembered that tender moment but I question why I didn’t recall the same memory back in 2014. In that Starbucks CBD memory, I think we stopped at another bus stop way ahead his usual stop in the morning before going to work. Must have been some kind of bad traffic going on that day or just buses rerouted, I’m not sure now which one it was. As I was unfamiliar, I asked him which way I should go to get to Starbucks. He told me so but before we parted, we kissed as was customary. But there was something tender about that moment which perhaps only our eyes and souls knew aside from the fact that his body language communicated in a way that I would not forget he wanted a kiss before he gets to work. I don’t know why I was being made to recall that memory.

A day after that Starbucks CBD memory surfaced, I was made to recall another memory again – the Guadalupe internet café in November 2010. I had not met him then and we had been chatting for 2 months. I kept forgetting to check that particular email thread because my mind would get distracted by other stuff but something ceaselessly reminded me to check. Earlier today I finally listened and focused on searching for that email thread. It wasn’t hard to pinpoint which thread it was. Again, some details are blurry but the feelings speak volumes; I still even question how I got to that internet café in Guadalupe when it was quite far out from where I resided at the time. A few things stood out in the email thread that I was surprised I had totally forgotten and then my heart stopped and knew this was the reason this particular memory was dredged up:

I dreamt of you again.

When I woke up earlier I kept falling back to sleep again so after waking up initially I had like 2 more dreams. You appeared briefly after the first dream. I was standing in some sort of balcony waiting for someone and it seemed I had waited too long. Then you appeared below, in a Knight's garb, sword and all. :o I don't remember if there was any armour! Anyways you told me reassuringly that no matter how long I'd wait, you'd always be there in the end, that you would always make it.