For the past few days I have been thinking back to a month or so ago when I had the realisation that I was at the point of no return, specifically in the case where having been honest with myself meant I gained even more self-knowledge that I could not go back to coddling old attitudes that perpetuate denial of what my heart dictates. A month ago or so I did feel confident to wake up to that epiphany although I knew the path from thereon would not be easy. I didn’t expect things to come easy for me but what I didn’t know, however, was that I would be sinking further and further and there’s not even a lifeboat in sight. 

On second thought, sinking and drowning might be the best thing to happen to me at this point. I cannot live denying the small voice of the highest good. I may feel dead inside but there’s not much wiggle room anymore to resort to escapism to deny my inner truth. There’s nothing worse than killing my soul.