Category: Family


I’ve been watching mostly Bollywood movies lately and by accident saw the Abhishek-Aishwarya interview on Oprah. Some viewers of the YouTube video voiced out their opinions about Oprah’s lack of research regarding the extended family environment in most Asian cultures. Aishwarya admitted in the interview that marriage entailed her moving in with Abhishek and his family under the same roof. Oprah appeared surprised that this was the case for the said couple. For a second, I admit, I kind of looked surprised that Oprah didn’t appear to know that this was a normal thing in Asia.

My younger sister (I’m the eldest of three) and her partner haven’t formally tied the knot but they already have a six-year-old daughter. It’s not that they don’t ever want to, rather it’s because the wedding expenses go beyond what they can afford. While family ties are very much given importance in our culture, I also feel at other times it can be a bane to forsake one’s independence for the sake of the family. I spent long years in the past away from my family and that period was followed by less travel and more time being in my hometown that I could seriously implode from being so distressed by my family’s problems.

I do believe the articles I’ve read before about the middle sibling being so needy and an attention-seeker and how the couple’s latent psychological issues or differences they cannot accept find their manifestations in the middle child. My younger sister is the only sibling who repeated my mother’s history (had a child “unexpectedly” and not financially capable to raise a family), something which they may not openly acknowledge.

I sense and observe this like I’m the unluckiest stranger in the world, if it were to  be believed that we don’t choose our parents and siblings before we agreed to reincarnate in the present lifetime. This is why every single day, every single year I grow ever more grateful that I did not walk the same path they have. Without self-examination, we don’t get out of the group karma or family karma and evolve. Independence is a big deal for a 7 like me.

However, I also believe that time binds us in one situation until we’re ready to take on another challenge. My only complaint is that I may also have had a hand on this time drag. And I’ve been itching to plant my feet somewhere else other than my hometown. I was very young when I was aware my greater chances of evolving would not happen here. I just need to CHOOSE.

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Seven

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Yesterday we had a new addition to the family – my cousin who used to live with us gave birth to an adorable baby boy at midnight. It’s interesting how my cousin had bugged me for the name of the baby for four months but I had only come up with it two days ago, right when we got wind of the message that she was already taken to the hospital.

Because letters in a name correspond to a specific vibration or energy as stated in the teachings of Pythagorean Numerology and Kabbalah, I am not one to suggest a name just because it is popular. Another good book on practical esoteric sciences, Seven Hermetic Letters by Dr. Georg Lomer also did not underestimate the role of picking a name for a newborn. Dr. Lomer wrote it is important to consider picking a name that helps fulfill the requirement of having all the 5 vowels present in a full name.

In some Western countries, a middle name can be a supplementary name to the first name. However, it’s a different case in the Philippines – by default we assume the mother’s maiden name as our middle name. Having already accounted for the three vowels from the maiden name and last name, I had told my cousin she only needs to pick a name that has the letter I and U in it.

I had slept late, around 2 a.m., two days ago when I decided to search for a list of first names under I and U. None under U felt intuitively right but the I included Immanuel in the list, a variation of Emmanuel (“God is with us”), and for some strange reason it felt suitable and it did fit the bill.

It was a coincidence to know the day after, the day my cousin finally gave birth, that the birth date when added together resulted in one digit, 7, which meant the newborn’s Life Path number is 7. 7 has always been considered to be a spiritual and thus a very intuitive number. I should know, I am living a Life Path 7 myself.

All the events leading up to picking the final name at the eleventh hour made me realize that Immanuel was hardly a random choice at all. Maybe the new soul wanted to be named exactly that.

Communication Patterns

It’s been a few months that I have noticed a pattern with my mother’s opinionated responses not only to the latest news on tv but to some common general information as well.
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Image source: Laveldanaylor

Two things become even more obvious to me. First, my mother often responds in a vague manner. Even when she is not sure about the answer, she makes a conjecture to make it appear like her opinion is somehow closer to the truth.

My mom’s not really bright, academically she wasn’t the type who excelled but she has better people skills than I do. She was more of a homebody than I am. When I was still small and doing school assignments at home, I would not be satisfied with some of her answers every time I consulted her. Yes, even when I was younger and knew less, I was instinctively intelligent and knew which answers I felt to be right and which aren’t. Her vague replies worked to my advantage because it forced me to research on my own and read more books.

Second, I had noticed I had in fact learned to subconsciously adopt her speculative-laden response pattern. It was my interactions with chatty friends that defined this realization for me. Out of 10 spoken straight sentences from them, I could only utter an uh-huh, a nod or a 10-word paraphrase which could be categorized, again, under baseless speculation or presumption.

The communication pattern of people close to us has a subliminal effect on how we relate to others outside of our familial environment. It is our role to thresh out truths from untruths and break those insidious upbringing patterns.

Little Princess

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Three days ago my niece celebrated her 4th birthday and since she’s the only little princess we have in the family for now, her grandparents and parents had to bend over backwards to make her birthday as special as she is. Well, it’s always been like that for the past 4 years.

For the past few weeks I’ve been watching her closely and every time I do I try to memorize the details of her small face and her innocent big round eyes in my mind’s eye. Time flies so fast and she grows she would not look the same anymore. Before time cheats appearance before my very eyes, I would like to remember that innocence.

We all go through that process of growing up and letting go. I’ve felt with some cousins that as they grew older they became less and less adorable that I sometimes wish they were back to being babies. Funny and illogical but true.

My niece, as a February-born kid, seems free-spirited and this quality will be even more pronounced someday. She’ll have her own set of friends and learn to think and decide for her own. Only in pictures and videos will we then be able to relive her younger years.

Remembering Significant Events

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Image source: http://schools.sd42.ca/kalanj/files/2012/08/FamilyLivingPicture.jpg

It has been full of reminiscence for me since February started. Today, February 3, is my parents’ 34th wedding anniversary. It was also this same day last year that I headed for Australia for my seven-week trip. I had greeted my parents a happy anniversary in advance at the time.

It’s pretty easy to recall their anniversary because their wedding coincided with my birth year. I am glad that they have been harmoniously married for as long as I have lived.

The date is also close to the Chinese New Year and I remember enjoying my long weekend Chinese New Year holidays in Malaysia by either traveling to Singapore, which I did in 2008, or sleep over at my friend’s house in the area much nearer to central Kuala Lumpur back in 2009.

I am thankful to be able to look back on these significant events despite being down and unable to focus for the past few months. It enables me to look forward to another day.

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