Tag Archive: vision


Georgy Porgy

I had a phallic dream last night and all morning I had totally forgotten about it. It wasn’t until this afternoon when I remembered it again because of an autosuggested song from the universe in the form of Toto’s Georgy Porgy.

The dream went like this:

I chanced upon this location for the shooting set of Game of Thrones (I honestly have never watched any GoT episode ever) and I saw a lot of onlookers by the fence. The scene was a number of naked men fighting. Two of the men who now were lying on the ground had exceptionally large penises. Everyone wanted to share what they saw on their social media accounts as they were taking videos and snapping photos, including me. Hahaha.

The next scene I recall was going to a place where my high school supposedly was. The feeling about the school is familiar, but the way or the path going there wasn’t. A teenager guided me through looping jeepney rides and gates. I wondered how my alma mater suddenly became a labyrinth. He explained that the roads have been reconstructed. I wasn’t sure where he took me after school, I couldn’t remember much about that part.

Next I found myself climbing up my Aunt Lorena’s place. I don’t remember now who was that kid with us but there was a little kid watching tv with us. I couldn’t remember what the show was about. But as I was watching it some of my thoughts flew to ELK.

I was having tea in the afternoon when Georgy Porgy by Toto came to my consciousness so I looked for it on Spotify so I could listen to it. One look at the album cover took me back to the phallic dream, which could mean my train of thought never really left that dream. The song was released in the year I was born.

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I was writing down my dream in my dream journal a while ago when something struck me – the name Loren. Prior to listening to Georgy Porgy, I had clicked on an email from Maria Loren about Archangel Gabriel. (Yeah, it was the same angel who appeared to Mary and Elizabeth.) I was trying to post a screenshot of that email when I noticed I kept getting Loren misspelled, like it was trying to impress itself in my memory.

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Must have been around 7pm when I rode a cab home. I had flashes of that vision I had back in 2011 about a  curly-haired girl, 5-year or 7-year-old, who had my eyes and about July. Maybe the phallic dream may have reminded me of some sort of epiphany – that whoever that curly-top will be in the future, she’s probably a July-born or Leo Sun entity.

 

 

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Guilty

When a series of thoughts and events start to amass in my head I get this urge to do some purging  – that way I clear my head space and allow newer ruminations to float in there. Writing affords me this so-called purging.

Two days ago I had submitted myself to a little pondering on this widening-my-perspective question: What if I wasn’t too picky and the possibility of getting with XX was something I wasn’t so conflicted with? My eyes widened because I was startled at my own audacious proposition. Well, it’s not impossible really. But if I break down the implications of this tiny seed of thought, I actually hear a lot of contradictory voices.

My high school and college friends say I’m picky. But most of them are boring – more often than not they take what life gives them. I have specific visions of what I want in some areas of my life and I did reach some of them by being patient. Most of them rarely rely on visualization to work and so they take on what’s convenient for them. So really, being labeled ‘picky’ actually means I had more specific visions and do not really want to settle for less. That’s somehow an inconvenient truth to explain to them and I didn’t try to explain it to them for years because I believe we each have a spiritual responsibility to figure out our own truths and befriend our selves more.

And what do you know, the day after I had that bizarre what-if, I get a short message from XX who was once a special friend. It was basically a short “hope-you-and-your-family-are-safe-from-the-typhoon” note, to which I of course replied with a short thank you note stating I and my family are safe as our area was not affected. Although the stressed phrase of “just a short note” irked me because I was reading it as “It’s a short note and I really don’t want to chat”, it was heartwarming nonetheless. I really mean heartwarming as an understatement because I cannot deny how that short message brought back sexual undertones due to a strong Sun-Venus and Eighth House synastry aspects we have in our composition chart. So, yes, I can boldly admit I am sexually attracted to him. Sadly, because it’s the only strong aspect, it’s also not a very binding and lasting one. It makes me feel guilty that somehow it’s hard to look beyond sexual attraction with XX even though he is a really good guy and does not have a cheater history.

It’s disappointing, isn’t it? But you see, I am glad we are talking sporadically these days. We can both be picky and miss out on each other for very good reasons. In my heart I don’t actually feel he’s the one. It goes without saying it’s mutual on his part and it’s a good thing we both don’t have hangups about it.

By the end of my pondering, I had actually thought that if I already had a vision of my ideal, then it must exist.

I’m not picky, I just know I deserve something better.

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